principles of jewish buddhism

1. Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with such round shoulders.

2. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?

3. Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

4. To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?

5. Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

6. If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

7. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

8. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish.

9. Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish.

10. The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish?

11. Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all things faster.

12. To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.

13. Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?

14. Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkes!

bitch bitch bitch

do i have "spinster" tatooed to my forehead?! all these older people keep making inferences to me that it is time to accquire a boyfriend. they all mean well but its a little annoying.

example #1. john coffee. this little old man who goes to my church. hes adorable, and recently when he sees me hes come up to me, draped his arm around my shoulders and asked when im going to bring a boy with me. hes even gone so far as to tell me when there are new members that could be good prospects for me. i appreciate the thought but really.

example #2. lady in estes. i walked into estes for breakfast this morning and the lady who swiped my card and i had the following conversation.
lady: cold enough for you?
me: its freezing!
lady: sure would be nice on a day like this to have a big man to warm you up.

C'MON FOLKS!


small aside: can you name all the seven dwarves? today in my class we had a quiz and one of the questions was to name the seven areas of language...something. anyway i obviously had no idea so i was trying to go for the creativity points and was writing the seven dwarves. ONLY I COULD ONLY THINK OF 6! so i put snoopy as the last dwarf. afterwards i asked cameron and she told me the one that i had forgotten. so if you can think of them WITHOUT CHEATING then ill give you 5 ariel points.
GO!

scrambled brain with a side of bacon

i just spent 4 hours in the library writing my paper. my brain is scrambled and hurting, so im watching gilmore girls and eating a massive amount of skittles. mmmm to be a college student...

update

so i thought i should update my blog a little bit, though theres really not much new in my life. lets see.

1.every morning the guy i like walks past my window on his way to class at the exact time that i am brushing my teeth and looking out my window for news of the day. so basically i watch him walk to class while i brush my teeth. i cant help it. i am brushing and hes walking and its just something that happens. so that gets me thinking of the temptations song "just my imagination" which gets it into my head cuz lets face it, its a great song.

2. i got electronically snubbed by lauren. i saw her sn online and was stoked cuz shes in italy which is a different country, so i was like 'hey dude' and she signed off. ouch. jackie says that it could have been that she was in the process of signing off and therefore couldnt do anything about it. i hope thats it.

3. ive been working out recently and ive found that i drink A LOT more water. which is technically a good thing because everyones supposed to drink 8-10 glasses of water a day. ok fine whatever. what that translates to for me is that i get up in the middle of the night and have to pee REALLY BAD. i hate getting out of my bed in the middle of the night. the bed is so warm and soft and the outside world is so hard and cold. YUCK. not only that, but it has also translated to getting up TWICE in the middle of the night, that is how sissy my bladder is. boy o boy.

4. i got a bunch of pictures into my new photo album, but i need a specifically shaped picture of all of my friends, and i cant find one. its getting annoying. of course i have limited resources here at school, but still.

ok thats really all i had to say.
"each day through my window i watch him as he passes by
i say to myself 'that boy is so fly,
to have a boy like him is truly a dream come true
out of all the ladies in the world,
he belongs to you'
but it was just my imagination
running away with me
it was just my imagination
running away with me."

saccades

so i had a quiz in my psych class today and i had to define a bunch of terms. there was one that i really didnt know; "saccades". i remembered that my professor said that he gave points for creative answers, and i really didnt know what "saccades" meant so i said; "a samll inscet that decsends in masses on Washington D.C. and the surrounding areas once every 17 years." i havent gotten the quiz back yet but im hoping that he thought that was funny.