summer moments

ok so i kept a list of funny things and sayings over the summer, and then i lost it because well, im me. but i found it again today and i thought that the world would be a better place if i posted them all on the internet.
so here goes. all the things that i will never forget from this summer. not even after years of therapy.

"And then it was like, i'd had enough with the beet farmers" -Denise

"I have more legs than Bush country" -Ariel, as misheard by Janis

Going to the porn store and being stalked by the sales lady.

"Well, i dont do anal, cuz im gassy and i like to poop a lot" -Us quoting the porn star

Fireworks and boobs on cars

Guy puking on the metro coming home from the 4th of July

the "Murry/Making Love" talk with Mika

Civil War love letters from the front lines

Big Carrot guy at Relay for Life

"Do you like mustard" -Carrie Farson

Ariel: I'll bet you a Lincoln
Dad:....which ones Lincoln?
Mom: ya know, tall chap, big hat, married to the transvestite scandinavian with a creamy delicious filling...

"I wasn't hung over, i just felt like crap" -Ariel

"I hate shrimip. it tastes like...i dont know....butt" -Kari

"Well, drugs whores and jail do all kind of go together" -Mommy McGurk the sweetest old lady ever!

Janis is a Pirate

The Throne in whats her name's house

"When is Mike NOT oiled??" -Janis

Denise: I'm teasing them
Ariel: what, like letting them get to second base??

Icing sculptures at Friday's

Denise's musical thong

The Pact over the Holy Nachos

Painting of the Bed

"You are the fire in my pants. so drop yours." -Denise being a spanish hooker

Ass McLoudpants and green shirt guy

"Look out! Tooshy Squeeze!"

Our helper, Joe

Jesus is hot!

"Mika, GO TO HELL" -Steve Carell

"Welcome to the world. now heres some bowling shoes" -Denise

Mika: I'm going to eat this fake carrot
Janis: like....plastic?

"I liked her skirt, but when she took off her robe and revealed things dangling from her breasts i was like 'Oh My God!'" -Denise

"Oh did i tell you about the pen i stole from my GYN? it has an add for vaginal creme on it, and im going to give it to mike" -Janis

"hmmm....i either dropped it down my pants, or i didnt drop it at all..." -Janis

"aww, shes shy. she wants to go back home to her little Jew" -Janis' grandmother.


as you can probably tell, my friends and i were quite the quote machines this summer. twas a good time to be had by all, and though we missed mika whilst she was in Japan, she still had some funny quotes. man oh man. i hope you all enjoyed them as much as i did at the times. cool. peace out.