quote machine

there is no more space on my profile for all of these quotes, so im gonna put them here. these are all from tonight, candace's last at rmc. sniff.

"Nicole, your cow is dying!" -Lacy
"Wait, i thought i was the lesbian love child" -me
"Well, one doesnt want oneself to draw attention to oneself, does oneself?"- Nicole quoting her dad
"I want a cheeseburger...with chicken nuggets ontop" -candace
"It'd be really funny to tie you to the back of my car and watch you run" -Nicole
"God Ariel, you suck at eating!" - candace
"Hamburger McChicken face!" - Nicole
"Thats an itsy bitsy peter" -Becca
"As you might guess...oneself peed oneself while sliding down the mud into the river" -Nicole
"These straws are too big, i feel like im giving a blow job" -Candace
"Defend yourself FAGGOT!" -Nicole
"Man-o Man-o...Mayonnaise" -Nicole
Ariel: i just got lemonade in my sinuses
Lacy: sinus-ade
"Why am i trying to put more food in there?! ITS FULL!"- Candace
"Anyone want to lick my fingers? theyre salty!"- Candace
"My Fallopian tubes fell out" -Nicole
"He was like 'HUNGH...HUNGH'" - candace
"wait...put your sleeve over your face.........there she is" - Candace
"sigh...lets go before she bleeds on the car" -Nicole
Ariel: you hit my boob
candace: sorry, theyre EVERYWHERE
"I'm a flat assed groupie" -Ariel
"this is me. this is me talking about genetalia...uncomfortable" -Becca
"Donald Trump's hair is like a dead long haired Guinnea pig" -Becca
"who dost dare to throw at me....FUCK"- Candace
"Wait...im not gonna be ashamed for being obviously a woman!" -Ariel


whoo good times.

shopping with canned ass and sister gaywad

whoo! ok so im gonna talk about my fun and crazy shopping day with candace and becca. first of all, all the people that i had originally asked to go with me one way or another they couldnt go, so i was feeling blue, but then becca and candace said they could go, so we three went. we were going to meet up at like 10, but i get a call at 9 from candace. i thought she was going to back out and i really didnt want her to do that because i had been really looking foreward to our trip. she told me that she wasnt backing out, in fact she was calling to tell me to get up so we could leave earlier. i replied that i would pour some coffee in my eyes and be right over.

i got to their apartment, coffee in hand and caught a fair amount of flack for being late. then we headed out to ukrops to see john and to get becca some breakfast. john turned out to be cooler than other boyfriends of friends, so we all hung out in ukrops for longer than we should have, laughing and telling stories, and then candace made me spit coffee out cuz she said something funny. we finally are leaving ukrops and becca has to pee. candace and i head out to the car, and as we're there we start talking about the dumbness of the greek system and candace said "i'm sister gaywad" and then i said "and just like that we have a new nickname for becca". this inspired laughter, and the rest of the day we referred to becca as sister gaywad.

we got to short pump without getting lost (HUGE surprise to all of us). we got some shopping done, i got presents for my brother and my mom. as we were going around we couldnt stop laughing for 2 reasons. 1: candace and i are the same person, therfore we laugh at all the same things and seeing each other laugh sends the other one into fits of laughter. 2: becca is add. she cant focus on one thing for longer than a bumble bee, and she is completely oblivious to the world around her. true anecdote: we were gettin some cheesecake at the cheesecake factory and as we were leaving becca tried to go out an emergency exit door. we called her name 4 times finally reverting to "sister gaywad" before she respponded and realized what she was about to do.

we had lunch at tara thai and then dessert at the cheesecake factory, and im glad to say that i took becca and candace's thai food virginity. it was good for me and for them.

we had so much fun on that trip, i know this blog is really long but i have another anecdote about becca really quick!

we're all three in hechts by the accesories and there are a bunch of those snapable wrist cuffs around. there are two snapped together so that it is twice as long, and becca picks it up and says "does this go around your neck?" and proceeds to put it on her neck. candace looks at me with astonishment in her face and says to becca "take that off your neck, IDIOT!"i laughed so hard i literally fell on the floor of hechts. candace was yelling at becca that she cant beleive what an idiot she was, and becca is laughing and trying to justify the stupidity and i was laughing and im sure the sales clerks were glad to see us go.

holy jesus

holy jesus, i have been so lax in writing blogs. i suck. my life isnt as busy as my lack of input may imply. i have lots of fun times that i could talk about, but instead i choose to talk about my annoying lit professor experience.

so i need my paper back from my lit prof, and we had a meeting scheduled for wednesday, but then i get an email from her saying that she had a faculty meeting, so we rescheduled for friday, she showed up late to say that she had forgotten my paper. i was still unpreterbed so we decided to have the meeting on monday. i go to her office on monday and i can see her through the frosted glass, and i knock. she gets up walks to the door, i think shes going to open it, and instead she locks it. SHE LOCKED THE DOOR!! and i was like WHATEVER BITCH!

thats my annoyance du jour. hope you enjoyed it.